I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize