is your mom at the bar?
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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