well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
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People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
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my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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