i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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