so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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