he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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