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I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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