There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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