so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize