She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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