Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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