If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize