He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
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I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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