I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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