U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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