you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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