I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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