So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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