Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize