That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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