Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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