Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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