Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize