Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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