haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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