Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize