break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
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Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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