If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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