Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize