Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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