Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Of course I have a pirate flag
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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