Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize