After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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