OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize