it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize