And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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