We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize