i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize