I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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