i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I faked an abortion last night.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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