Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
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I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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