Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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