I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize