Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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