last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
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I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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