you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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