ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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