thus making me awesome and them whores
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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