i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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