Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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